Frequently asked questions
I get asked a lot of questions when people find out I'm a celebrant. You've come to the right place to find out all you'll ever need to know about weddings, naming ceremonies, and funerals. Well, most of it, anyway...
Wedding FAQs
What actually is a Humanist wedding?
At heart, it’s a non-religious ceremony that’s entirely focused on you—your story, your values, and your relationship. It’s not a one-size-fits-all script; it’s a celebration written from scratch, by someone who’s got to know you properly (that’s me). And it’s usually full of love, laughter, a few happy tears, and often a dog or two.
Is it legally binding?
In Scotland, yes! Humanist celebrants are legally authorised to conduct marriages by Humanist Society Scotland - we're the only Humanist and non-religious organisation who can authorise our own celebrants. We have prescribed status, just like a registrar or minister. So when you sign the paperwork on the day, you’ll be legally married. (In other parts of the UK or with a non-Humanist Society Scotland celebrant, you’d need to do the legal bit separately at a registry office.)
Can we get married anywhere?
Pretty much. Because I’m authorised in Scotland, the ceremony can happen anywhere that's safe and respectful—your back garden, a beach, a boat, a mountaintop, a castle ruin, a llama farm. (Yes, really. Bring snacks.)
Do we have to follow a certain structure?
Not at all. That’s the joy of it. You can include as many or as few elements as you like. Traditional vows? Sure. Completely made-up ones about tea-making duties and Netflix loyalty? Also fine. Readings, music, handfasting, jumping the broom—we’ll make the ceremony fit you, not the other way round.
Can we write our own vows?
Yes, and I’ll help if you like. Some couples know exactly what they want to say; others stare at a blank page for a month and need a gentle nudge. Either way, we’ll find words that are true to you. And if public speaking makes you break out in a rash, we can build something simple and heartfelt that you’re comfortable with.
What if we’re not very ‘mushy’?
Great! I’m not here to make you recite poetry about moonbeams unless that’s genuinely your vibe. A good Humanist wedding captures the real relationship—whether that’s romantic, hilarious, practical, chaotic, or all of the above. Sentimental and silly is an excellent mix.
Can we include spiritual or cultural elements?
Yes, as long as the overall tone remains non-religious. If you have family or heritage traditions that are meaningful to you (a tea ceremony, a blessing in another language, a symbolic gesture), we can absolutely incorporate those. It’s your day, your story.
How long does the ceremony last?
Usually around 25 to 35 minutes, depending on how much you’d like to include. That’s enough time to really celebrate your story without anyone getting sunburnt (or frostbite, depending on the month).
Do we need to meet in person beforehand?
If we can, brilliant—but a video call works just as well. What's important is that I get to know you both properly so I can write something that feels authentic. You'll get a draft in advance so there are no surprises (unless you want surprises, in which case let's talk).
Can we include pets or children?
Absolutely. Dogs, toddlers, goats in flower crowns—we’ll build the ceremony around what matters to you.
How far do you travel?
Living in the wilds of Argyll, travelling is part of my job. If your ceremony is more than a couple of hours away, I'll generally travel to the venue the night before, which might add the cost of an overnight stay onto your fee. What can I say? I hope I'm worth it!
What if you're unexpectedly ill or unavailable on the day?
When you join the Humanist Society Scotland, you are covered by the HSS Promise in case of emergencies. Read more about it here.
How do we book you?
You make an enquiry on the Humanist Society Scotland web site and we arrange to meet, usually by video call (unless we already know each other, in which case you just ask me if I'm free). If you like me and want me to conduct your ceremony, you join Humanist Society Scotland with a two year wedding couple membership (£98) and that secures your date.
How much does it cost?
My costs are outlined here. Just a heads-up: If you're booking with less than 60 days' notice, I'll need the full fee paid up front to lock it in.
What if we decide we want a different celebrant after we've met you?
That's completely fine. In fact, that’s exactly why I like to meet before confirming a booking. It’s important that you feel a real connection with the person leading your ceremony—if you don’t, I’m probably not the right fit for you. Shop around: no hard feelings at all. This isn’t about egos; it’s about making sure you feel confident, comfortable, and genuinely excited about who’s standing up there with you on the day.
We just want to renew our vows. Do we have to have been married a certain length of time before we do that?
Not at all. Some people wait for a big milestone like 10 or 25 years, others want to celebrate making it through a difficult time, or just feel it’s the right moment to pause and say “I still do.” The timing is entirely yours—there are no rules, only meaning.
Is a vow renewal legally binding?
Nope - and that’s part of the beauty of it. No paperwork, no legal jargon:just a chance to reflect, recommit, and celebrate your story so far, surrounded by the people who matter most.
Funeral FAQs
Does a Humanist funeral mean the person didn’t have any beliefs?
Not necessarily. A Humanist ceremony simply means the focus is on the person’s life, rather than on religious or spiritual beliefs. People are beautifully complex: we can hold different views across our lifetime, or none at all. What matters here is that we honour the person in a way that feels true to them.
Can we include a prayer or hymn?
It’s a Humanist ceremony, so it won’t be led as a religious service—but this is also about creating something meaningful for you and your family. If a piece of music or a reading has personal significance, we can discuss ways to include it so that it's not an act of worship. It’s about love and connection, not drawing hard lines.
Is there a set structure to the ceremony?
Not at all. There are no rules; just possibilities. We’ll shape the ceremony together so that it tells the person’s story in the way that feels right. Some people want laughter, others want quiet reflection. Most want a bit of both. My job is to listen, then craft something that fits like a well-worn glove.
How long does the ceremony usually last?
Typically between 30 to 45 minutes, but it really depends on what we include. If you’ve got several people wanting to speak or perform music, we might take a little longer. If it’s a simple tribute with just a few words and a song, it’ll be shorter. Either way, we won’t rush it.
How much will it cost me?
Well, that depends. My fee for creating and leading a funeral ceremony is £250. This covers everything involved in shaping a personal, meaningful tribute to your loved one — including our calls or in-person meetings, time spent getting to know their story, and all the writing and editing to make sure the ceremony truly reflects who they were and what they meant to you. In terms of travel, I charge 45p per mile for the first 40 miles (round trip), and beyond that, there’s an additional supplement of £1 per mile — on top of the 45p — to cover time and fuel for longer journeys. So the total cost will depend on where the ceremony is taking place. If you'd like, just let me know the postcode of the venue and I can give you a clear breakdown - that way there are no surprises. I’m here to help make this process as easy and supportive as possible.
Can family and friends speak during the service?
Absolutely—if they’d like to. Some people feel very strongly about saying a few words themselves; others prefer to have me read something on their behalf. Both are completely fine. We’ll work it out gently, depending on what people are comfortable with.
Do we have to write the tribute?
No, that’s part of what I’m here for. I’ll spend time getting to know you and gathering stories and memories, and then I’ll write a tribute that reflects the person’s life and spirit. You’ll get a chance to read it before the ceremony so it feels just right.
Is it okay to include humour?
Yes! In fact, I encourage it. Funerals don’t have to be bleak to be meaningful. If the person you’re remembering was full of mischief or wit, we should absolutely let that shine through. Laughter can be just as healing as tears—sometimes even more so.
What happens after the ceremony?
That’s entirely up to you. Some people head to a wake or gathering to share stories and raise a glass. Others go home quietly to process. There’s no ‘correct’ way to grieve or remember. If you’d like me to say a few words at the gathering afterwards, I’d be honoured to do that too.