Facing the Final Curtain: How I Became an End of Life Coach (Without Planning To)

susymcphee0
Aug 4
4 min read

When I first started working as a funeral celebrant, I honestly thought my role would be pretty straightforward. I imagined delivering ceremonies - whether at a graveside, a local village hall, a crematorium, a woodland, or even a beach. I pictured myself working with grieving families, crafting eulogies to help them say their goodbyes with love and respect.

But a few months into my practice, I realised there was a lot more to it than that. I had a client reach out to me who knew she had a limited amount of time left, and she needed help figuring out how to say what mattered most to her while she still could. Under the auspices of helping her plan her funeral, we spent hours unpacking her feelings - the fear, the sadness, the things she was most proud of (all hidden behind a very stiff upper lip, I might add) - and talking through what she wanted her legacy to be. In the fullness of time, I also officiated at her celebration of life and burial. I can't even begin to describe what a privilege it was to have spent that time with her and played such a hands-on role in helping give shape and meaning to her final months.

And then I took a call from another client whose opening words were, 'I'm not terminally ill, but...' Like my other client, she wanted help to plan for a time when she wouldn't be around any more.

Word got out, as it does in small communities. And it quickly became clear that this kind of support was just as important - and just as needed - as the ceremonies themselves.

That’s when I realised I was stepping into a new role I hadn’t expected: becoming an end of life coach.

What Is an End of Life Coach?

If you’re wondering what an end of life coach actually does, you’re not alone. It’s not a role many people have heard of, but it centres on meaning, legacy, emotional peace, and preparing for death, whether that’s your own or someone you love. I offer guidance for the emotional and practical side of facing mortality by helping people process their feelings, clarify their wishes, have difficult conversations, and prepare for the journey ahead. I don’t provide hands-on care or medical assistance; instead, I help you figure out what matters most to you and how you want to live your final chapter, hopefully helping you feel less alone at a time that can feel very isolating.

It's a broad remit, from helping figure out how to have those tricky conversations with family and friends about care preferences or legacy, organising affairs, writing letters, or creating meaningful rituals, all the way through to providing tools to stay grounded and present through mindfulness, breathing exercises, and meditation. Between us we'll figure out what matters most to you right now, what the small joys are that are keeping you going, and how you can feel more fully alive whilst at the same time preparing to let go.

Why This Kind of Support Matters

Talking about death and dying is never easy. It’s messy, complicated, and deeply personal. When you’re suddenly face-to-face with your own mortality or that of someone you love, it’s easy to feel isolated and lost.

But avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t make the problems disappear: it tends to amplify them and create emotional distance. Yes, these conversations can be uncomfortable, but silence can feel even lonelier. What makes the difference is having someone beside you who understands the landscape, who speaks the language you're trying to learn and can help you find the words, packaging those hard-to-have conversations in warmth and self-awareness.

Bringing Holistic Care Into the Journey

Recently, I’ve been fortunate to team up with a friend who’s an Ayurvedic medicine practitioner. She offers a beautiful, holistic layer of support to people facing terminal diagnoses, using natural remedies and calming practices to ease both body and mind when everything feels overwhelming. Together, we offer a gentle kind of care that honours the whole person - not rushing or fixing, but holding space for all the messy, beautiful, painful, and precious moments that come with this journey.

Supporting Those Who Support

If you’re caring for someone who is seriously ill, you might be feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or unsure how to keep going. End of life coaching can also help you, by helping you find ways to care for yourself, set boundaries, manage difficult emotions, and find moments of peace amid the storm.

Finding Meaning in the Middle

Facing mortality brings up questions without easy answers: What have I done with my time? What do I want to say before I go? How do I want to be remembered? I'll help you explore these questions on your own terms, supporting you gently to find meaning and dignity in the journey - however long or short it may be.

You Don’t Have to Walk This Alone

Facing the end of life - whether your own or someone else’s - is never simple or straightforward. But it can be made a little softer, a little more bearable, with the right kind of support.

If you or someone you love is on this path, remember: you don’t have to walk it alone. Sometimes, what helps most is having someone to walk beside you - with kindness, clarity, and an open heart.

If you’d like to talk or explore what support might look like for you, I’m here.