Second (or Third) Time Lucky: Why Love After Loss, Change, or Chaos Deserves a Ceremony All Its Own

There’s a particular kind of courage that comes with getting married again. Not the swashbuckling, leap-off-a-cliff kind. More the brave, quiet sort - the kind that whispers, “I still believe in this.”

Because let’s be honest: standing up in front of your favourite humans (or just one overworked officiant and a ficus plant) and declaring your love isn’t hard the first time. You’re buoyed by novelty and adrenaline and the conviction that you’ve cracked the code.

Doing it again?

That’s different.

That’s wisdom wearing a good outfit.

I have endless admiration for couples who choose to step back into commitment after things didn’t go the way they once hoped. Whether your previous chapter ended through heartbreak, mutual agreement, bereavement, or simply a realisation that you’d outgrown who you were then, deciding to love again is one of the most hopeful things a person can do.

It says:“I’ve seen life up close. I know how fragile all this is. And still - still - I'm choosing you.”

Blending Love, Families, and All Their Beautiful Complexity

When you’re marrying not for the first time, there’s often more than two people at the heart of the story. There may be children in the mix - yours, theirs, both - each with their own memories, loyalties, questions, and hopes. Including them in the ceremony can be gorgeous, moving, and deeply affirming. But it asks for something delicate: awareness.

Kids aren’t props, and they’re certainly not there to “prove” the harmony of a situation that might still be finding its shape. They need room to feel exactly what they feel, even if that’s excitement mixed with uncertainty, pride tinged with awkwardness, or a fierce loyalty to the parent who isn’t in the room.

As your celebrant, that’s where I come in.

I'll take the time to understand their world - the language they use for family, the stories they hold dear, and the ways they want to be involved (or not involved at all). Sometimes they’re front and centre with readings or rings; sometimes they simply sit with Gran and grin through the vows. Both can be perfect.

Eloping vs. Including Everyone: The Honest Truth

This is a biggie. Keep it intimate - perhaps very intimate - or throw the doors wide and gather the whole clan?

Eloping (or “wee weddings”, as I like to call them) can feel wonderfully freeing for couples who don’t want to navigate everyone’s feelings, histories, or opinions. It creates space to focus purely on your connection: just the two of you, maybe a couple of witnesses, and the wind coming off the sea.

But including your loved ones - especially your children - can be deeply meaningful too. There’s something powerful about letting them see this new chapter take shape in real time. It tells them:“Your story matters in this. You matter in this.”

Neither path is “better”. It’s about what makes you feel grounded, calm, and true to yourselves. My job is to help you figure that out, without bias or pressure, and then build a ceremony that fits you like it was stitched together especially for you (spoiler: it will be).

Why I Can Help You Do This Well

If you’re stepping into marriage again - with all its richness, resilience, and beautifully complicated family ties - you deserve a celebrant who understands that this ceremony isn’t a repeat.

It’s not a do-over.

It’s a whole new story.

As an author, I've been telling stories for more than two decades. As a celebrant, I’ll help you tell your story with warmth, honesty, humour where it fits, and tenderness where it’s needed. I’ll make space for the children in the picture without asking them to perform. I’ll honour the past without letting it overshadow the future. And I’ll hold the day - and everyone in it - with the sensitivity that blended families deserve.

Because second-time love isn’t lesser.

It’s not diluted or “less romantic”.

It’s richer. It’s braver. It’s full of knowing.

And if you’re ready to stand up and say yes again?

Well.

I’d be honoured to stand there with you.