You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

Amongst many a pearl of wisdom, Ricky Gervais once said, “You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.”

When I first read it, I wanted to punch the air. Because that quote sums up what humanism means to me. No fire and brimstone. No eternal punishment or reward. Just… a quiet, conscious choice to be a decent human being. Not because someone’s watching. Not to earn spiritual brownie points. But because kindness matters - especially when no one’s keeping score.

As a humanist celebrant and end of life coach, I’ve often heard the argument that without faith, we have no moral compass. But I don’t agree. My moral compass doesn’t come from fear or divine instruction - it comes from empathy. From understanding that my actions affect others. From knowing what it feels like to be hurt, and not wanting to be the cause of that for someone else.

For me, morality isn’t about a celestial rulebook. It’s about what kind of world I want to live in. It’s about treating people with dignity because I can, and because it makes life richer and more bearable for all of us.

When I work with people facing death or grappling with grief, I don’t see a lack of morality. I see love. I see regret. I see people trying to put things right, or simply make meaning of what they’ve lived through. And I see extraordinary compassion, often from people who would never describe themselves as religious.

We don’t need to believe in hell to know that cruelty is wrong. We don’t need to believe in heaven to want to leave things better than we found them. And we don’t need faith to believe in each other.

So no, I don’t think anyone’s going to burn in hell. But I do think we have a responsibility - to care, to forgive, to show up with honesty and heart. To be kind, not because we fear punishment, but because it makes us more human.

Ricky might’ve said it with a grin, but there’s serious heart behind the humour.

Be nice anyway. What a motto.

If you’d like to know more about how humanism shapes my work as a celebrant and end of life coach, or even if you just want to connect and chat, I'd love to hear from you.

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