Handfasting: The Ancient Art of Tying the Knot

One of my favourite parts of being a celebrant is introducing couples to beautiful symbolic gestures that give their ceremony a bit of extra heart. I've already written about the glorious Oathing Stone; now I'd like to talk about one of the most powerful (and photogenic!) symbolic gestures of all.

If you’ve ever watched Braveheart, you’ll remember the tender scene where William Wallace and Murron are married in secret, hands wrapped in tartan, whispering vows no one else hears:

“I will love you my whole life – you and no other.” “And I you – you and no other – forever.”

Simple. Private. Raw. And gut-wrenchingly romantic.

And then there’s Outlander… where Claire and Jamie go full Highland drama: hands bound, tartan everywhere, and yes — they slice open their wrists and mix their blood before tying the knot.

“Ye are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone…”

Right. I mean, it’s bold. Passionate. Memorable. It reflects old Highland beliefs in blood bonds being stronger than words alone. But it's absolutely not something I’d recommend at your average Scottish summer wedding, unless your guest list includes an A&E nurse and someone handy with a mop.

So what is handfasting, really?

At its heart, handfasting is an ancient ritual where the couple’s hands are gently tied together — the original "tying the knot.” It’s a symbolic gesture of unity, trust, and stepping into the future side by side. It has its roots in Celtic and Norse tradition, with variations occurring in many cultures around the world, such as tying hands in Hindu weddings or using sacred threads in Indiginous ceremonies. Chinese couples use a red thread tied around their fingers. The red thread is believed to represent a magical cord that may stretch or tangle but will never break, ensuring that the couple will eventually find each other regardless of distance or circumstance.

Back in the day, handfasting cords were often made from whatever was close to hand — twine, leather, woven grass — earthy, natural materials that connected the couple quite literally to the land around them. These days? You can go as ancient or as absolutely you as you like.

Want to honour your heritage? Tartan's a classic, especially if each of you can trace your roots back to different clans. Fancy weaving in some meaning? Choose ribbons in colours that stand for loyalty, laughter, or your shared love of dogs (dog lead, anyone?). You can involve your mums, your kids, your wildly proud best pal — or plait your own cord from string you found on a beach on your first camping trip (true story).

Handfasting can be formal, funny, poetic, quiet, or just delightfully daft. I’ve seen cords made from sailing rope, wildflowers, rainbow shoelaces… even a lanyard from the music festival where the couple met. And if all that sounds a bit too homespun for you, you can always go for something beautifully made — like this gorgeous ribbon from Penelope Textiles. Her handfasting cords are full of texture, meaning, and character… and they won’t have spent time at the bottom of a rucksack or in the glovebox of your car.

Why it works

There’s something incredibly grounding about that moment — the pause, the contact, the deliberate binding of two lives. There's a stillness about it, whether you're in a room full of five hundred of your closest friends or standing by one of the waterfalls on the Three Sisters mountain with your celebrant and a couple of witnesses. It's one of those rare bits of theatre that’s not for show (although it does look great). It’s for you. It says, We’ve chosen this, and each other — and we’re in it, hands tied and hearts full.

But what about the blood bit?

Yes, Claire and Jamie go full-on medieval and slice open their wrists before the binding. (Well, strictly speaking, Ned Gowan did the slicing, and between you and me I don't think Claire was all that thrilled about it.) The mingling of blood added a gritty, wince-inducing intensity to the ritual. It’s raw, elemental, and theatrical — perfect for the drama of a show like Outlander. But just to be clear, in modern ceremonies, we don’t tend to draw blood. (There’s commitment, and then there’s a tetanus risk.) In fact, there's no evidence that any culture anywhere ever incorporated wrist-cutting in their handfasting ceremonies. So unless you’re planning a wedding with a ‘Game of Thrones’ theme, we’ll skip the bloodletting and stick to cords and vows. The commitment still lands — and you’ll make it to the reception without needing stitches.

Final thoughts (and no sharp objects)

Handfasting is one of those gorgeous traditions that manages to be ancient and deeply personal all at once. If you're the kind of couple who wants your ceremony to reflect your story — not someone else's script — then this is one way to make it truly yours.

And if you want my help finding words that make you laugh, cry, and feel exactly like you, well — that’s my favourite part.

Let’s tie the knot together (metaphorically — and literally, if you fancy).

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